1.54 AM. It is night, it is dark.
For many weeks I fought against an invisible enemy who attacked my computer, changed my passwords, damaged my websites, and made sure that I did not sleep but tried to repair what could be fixed.
These weird events were followed by strange emails from LinkedIn, with a link in one of them, which I clicked on, and my computer, less than a year old, stopped, and the screen was black.
I told Yochanan who was working what had happened, and while he was working, he started praying.
And then suddenly I heard a sound, sitting with the laptop on my knees, I saw a light and the computer came back to life.
But all my passwords, all my accounts, even my malware program, it was chaos!
But now, sitting in the dark, everyone sleeping, You make it clear that You love me. And You make clear what You want from me, that I LOVE YOU more than the ministry.
More than the given task.
You show me that when we are on Twitter and share your word, many of us are more concerned about how many likes and how many retweets we get than about that one little lamb that needs your milk and bread.
Read more underneath the picture.
So Father, while I was praying, I had to think about the time we were broadcasting radio, and we reached the same point that we are sitting on now, and what we did back then. We started fasting and gave everything back into your hands.
And what we could not achieve for years, you did in an instant!
So Abba, I give the foundation in YOUR hands, and the websites, and all other things. I want you to be the lover of my soul again. I want to experience again that the cool gentle breeze comes back into the room while praying. And the sweet smell, fills the place again.
The internet is eating me up. I'm more concerned with sites and tweets and growth, and LinkedIn, than taking the time as I always did, not so long ago, to sit with you. I miss it, Lord.
While YOU were pruning the ministry, I lost all my followers of the prophetic list that flourished globally. I lost everything what You gave in all those years!
I had to put it all down. And look at me now, with 24 followers on one Twitter account and 150 on the other.
And what I so love to share, the wisdom of your word and the deep secrets behind it is not read much. It disappears in the silence between the noise of likes and retweets.
I'm Little David, staring into the face of Goliath, I'm Daniel in the dungeon, surrounded by lions.
The end-result is certain! YOU will do it your way! I have to rest and see YOU move the way YOU want.
I want to dance again with You, my head on your shoulder, to sing all the love songs from my heart to Yours!
Because Abba, I miss it too! I tried to do what I can't do, and I don't do what I can do!
Abba, here I am, I bow before You. The Holy Spirit made me recognize it all, and I have confessed it all.
I come to You. I listen to a song two nights in a row.
“ I'm coming home to you!” From that good old Tom Jones.
He sings it for a woman, I sing it for YOU, my KING!
For it is all Yours as I am Yours, ~~Cathy.~~